My husband and I have one beautiful little boy, and he will be our only child. When people find this out they are usually curious of our reasons and ask if we will change our minds eventually, but this was a decision we didn’t take lightly and prayed about for the first seven years of our marriage.
Reasons why I love having an only child
We are definitely planners. After we made our decision of wanting only one child, we still waited a few more years preparing ourselves to become parents. My husband started his own business (we got that up and running). We built up our savings and bought a home. Through all of this preparation and planning for our future it became even clearer to us that one child would complete our family.
We never had the pressures from our parents or siblings to start a family. In fact they all encouraged us to wait(not the case for everyone, I know). Growing up in large families and having 28 nieces and nephews, we were in no hurry knowing our child would never be lonely with that many kids around.
We want to have the opportunity to send our son to a private Christian school (financially, multiple children in private education would be difficult). My husband works for himself and I carry the health insurance for our family. I also work for a university with the benefit that our child can attend there, tuition-free if he chooses. Me giving up my career was not something we could consider. Since I work outside of the home, my time with our child is limited. Splitting those precious hours among multiple children would just seem impossible to me. It seems like families are busier than ever, especially with all the activities we participate in, and I didn’t want to be spread too thin where we would not be able to provide the quality time that every child needs and deserves.
We are the last of our siblings to have a child, so you could imagine the excitement when our parents found out we were finally going to give them another grand baby! And when both grandmothers offered to help watch him during the day, I knew I could leave each morning knowing they would do everything just like I would want – or better. (Grandparents are the best!)
Our son is now 2 years old and my husband is nearing 40. He feels like he would be too old and out of shape to have another We know that we made the right decision and can’t believe how blessed we are to have such a wonderful son. This witty, charming, smart, energetic, silly boy made me a mother and completed our family and for that I will always be grateful.
Every family has a unique situation and reasons for deciding on how big or small their family should be. I believe there is no right or wrong answer on family size, you have to choose if having 1 or 19 is best for your family dynamic.
Have you chosen to only have one child? Do you find people are curious about your decision?
Andrea says
Oh I loved this post of yours! What an honest and refreshing look at how family's make decisions. I am an only child and I had a wonderful upbringing…I was very close to my parents and we traveled a lot together. I was forced to be creative and independent, too. Your little man is just the darn cutest, too! My husband and I are planning on having one more child but I could certainly imagine life with just my Ben, too.
chastity says
Thank you! Of course not everyone would want to choose to have just one, but it's perfect for us. We love being the 3 amigos:)